Billy Mays: Behind The Scenes
by BillyMayes
Summary: "You know my OxyClean commercials, but not my story." What leads to the death of the most happy man in the Oxy Clean commercials? What happens behind the cameras? Rated M because of language and drug use.
1. Chapter 1

Billy Mayes: Behind The Scenes

"You know my OxyClean commercials, but not my story."

Chapter 1

Billy Mays turns away from the camera as it shuts off. He looks over at his friend Anthony Sullivan, who politely smiled at him. They meet and exchange greetings.

"How was shooting today?" Anthony asks.

"Same old same old. It feels like the louder I yell the more people can tell we're going bankrupt." Billy replies.

"Well we're probably going bankrupt because of your expensive habits." Anthony states while raising his eyebrow. Billy just laughs and turns away.

Billy drives into his urban California driveway, tired after a long day. He thinks about what Anthony said, but knew he couldn't change. He knew couldn't break the habit. In his kitchen was an assortment of foods, but what he grabbed for was a large bottle of red wine. He pops open the cap and pours it, but not in a glass, but on his pearly white oxy clean tile floors. He pours it in the shape of a satanic star. Nothing happens at first; Billy looked at it with a concerned look on his face. He grunts and turns into his greenhouse. He strokes his pride and joy, weed. He hears clattering from the kitchen, he walks over in hope that his special guest has arrived.

"The fuck you doing pouring fucking wine on the fucking floor you motherfucking lil bitch?" Mr. Clean exclaims.

"You need to Oxy Clean your fuckin mouth Mr._Clean._ You know what I want." Billy says as Mr. Clean removes the wine and restores the tile to its white glory.

"If you insist." says as he pulls out a package of cocaine. "You don't have to pay me now, as long as you get around it." Billy smiles down at the package. "Thanks man."

The next morning was as foggy as Billy's mind. He forced himself out of bed never the less and started his day. A bowl of cereal and weed suited his tastes. _When did I let myself fall like this? Now I can't stop_. He drives to work, hoping Anthony will show up for moral support. He reaches the parking lot and sees Anthony's car, a wave of excitement rushed through Billy. Almost like the butterflies one gets on a first date. He turns his head to the passenger seat where the package of cocaine sits idly. He opens it up and grabs the nearest card and coffee straw. He does a line and hides the package in the dash.

"BILLY MAYS HERE and I'm here to tell you about the latest product from OxyClean!" Billy goes through the regular runs and Anthony gets some coffee. After Billy is done he walks over to Anthony, he felt nervous to talk to him surprisingly. "So, do you want to go get coffee later, and talk some?" Billy nervously asks.

"Yeah, I'd love to. Except if "talking" means hitting a blunt." Anthony states.

"No, no, no, of course not!" Billy looks at the ground. He knows he sounded too excited, but he couldn't help it.

"Then it sounds like a good plan" Anthony put his hand on Billy's shoulder and smiled. Billy smiled back, with a glimmer in his eye.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Anthony said I should try to stop my horrible habit. And I agree with him, I would like to start getting less and less cocaine until I don't need it anymore." Billy was sure of his decision and hoped Mr. Clean would understand.

"Who ta fuck is this Anthony bitch? This mother fucker tryna mess with my business? You don't need this lil crusty ass in your life. He doesn't want good for you. He only wants to take your fuckin spot god damn it."

"Anthony is my best friend, he wouldn't do that." Mr. Clean's accusations were getting on Billy's nerves and he was about done with him.

"Yo I just want to protect my lil nigga. I don't want anyone fuckin with you." Mr. Clean attempted to reassure Billy. Billy just looked at him and took the bag of cocaine.

"Hey fucker Imma want my fuckin payment soon or Imma cut a bitch."

Billy just rolled his eyes.

"Yo I delt with bitches like you in prison, and now they can't walk." Mr. Clean made clear that he wasn't fucking around and Billy realized this.

"Alright, I'll pay you." Billy removed his Oxy Clean button down shirt and grabbed a kitchen knife. With a deep sigh he cut his arm just enough to draw a decent amount of blood. He dabbed his pointer finger in the blood and began to paint a satanic star on his chest. Mr. Clean greedily smiled, he was happy to be receiving what he has been longing for. Billy Mays's soul. Mr. Clean puts his hand on the star on Billy's chest and inhales. "Thanks bitch." And with that, Mr. Clean disappears to wherever the fuck he goes.

Billy exhales and looks at the drying blood on his chest. He doesn't feel much of a difference being without a soul but the void inside of him feels deeper than ever. This void he can fill with his addictions. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Billy, who was dazed, didn't know who would be ringing his doorbell at this time of night. He goes to answer it but realizes he is still shirtless with a satanic symbol painted chest. He quickly ran to the laundry room to get a shirt. The only shirt he had available was a white shirt cleaned with Oxy Clean, which made it seem… Transparent. He walked to the door, before he opened it he peered through the window to see a familiar face, Anthony. Billy opened the door just enough so he could stick his head out. "What a surprise! Not all pleasant, but a surprise for sure."

"I was concerned about you, from today and what you told me about…" Anthony said.

"Oh well, I'm okay." Billy tried to shut the door but Anthony insisted on coming in to the house.

"Please let me in Billy, I just want to help you." Billy looked at the ground, and then opened the door to let Anthony in. Anthony glanced around the room, and then his eyes focused on Billy. "Your shirt… It's so clean… It's like it's… transparent." Anthony remarked. Anthony squinted to see what the marking was on Billy's chest. But couldn't quite make it out. "So you got a tattoo?" Anthony asked.

"Oh this? Noo no no no. Just a little project I was working with." Billy quickly lied.

"Ye I know that's bullshit Billy I see the blood on your arm."

"Fine, okay, I gave my soul to Mr. Clean! That's my dealer."

"God damn it Billy. I'm staying with you now, because obliviously you can't take care of yourself on your own." Anthony slams the door behind him. "First we're going to have to *oxy* clean that symbol off your chest."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Billy woke up groggily. His arm was sore and bandaged. Anthony and Mr. Clean were nowhere in sight. He looked at his arm and decided to take off the bandages, underneath was a dark purple bruise and a deep black hole where he had cut himself. The hole was starting to scab up, but in the process of taking the bandages off, it had been broken. Fresh blood started to ooze out of the newly opened wound; Billy urgently put the bandages back on and went to wash the cut.

Anthony, in Billy's kitchen, was cleaning and making breakfast for himself and Billy. He knew Billy was going to feel bad and he also knew he needed to isolate Billy from Mr. Clean. In the process of cleaning, Anthony knocked down one of many bottles of wine that Billy owned, making an awful red stain on the floor. "Shit," Anthony muttered, "where the hell does he keep his Oxyclean?" Anthony walked over to the laundry room in search for Oxyclean.

After a successful search, he returned to the kitchen to clean his mess, but already cleaning the wine was none other than Mr. Clean. Mr. Clean stands up from the stain, "Why the fuck are you summoning me again, you got your shit, I got my shit, stop making god damn mes- Oh! Well fuck me! Its motherfucking Anthony," Mr. Clean looks back down at the wine, "I thought you were Billy…"

"Oh so this is how he summons you," Anthony said while putting the OxyClean on the counter. "He doesn't need you right now, or really ever again, so I would find someone else's life to fuck up."

"Seriously? I know you're not that fuckin stupid. You know he gave me his fuckin soul. There no backin out of this shit now."

"He's going to stop his addiction and I'm here to help him stop." Anthony sounded confident with what he was saying, but he wasn't sure. There was something about Mr. Clean that made him seem like he knew exactly what he was doing, always, and this intimidated Anthony. Mr. Clean started again, "Billy's fucked and you know it. He's been hooked too long… And now I've got him wrapped around my motherfucking finger nigga." With one swipe of his Mr. Clean Magic Eraser™ Mr. Clean cleaned up the wine like it was never spilt. "Don't you ever fuckin summon me for no god damn reason again. I have other things to do, other people to do, and I don't have time to talk to lil dip shits like you."

"I'll summon you whenever I want to god damn summon you! This concerns Billy, and I care about him! A lot of people care about him! If you mess with him, you wont get away with it! There's too many people concerned for this to just go away!"

"You summon me one more god damn time and I'm going to shove that motherfucking OxyClean so far up your ass that I can clean my toilets with your tongue." Mr. Clean turned around and stormed out the door, his presence became… Transparent. And Anthony was left alone in the kitchen.

"Hey I thought I heard some yelling, are you okay?" Billy said while walking in the kitchen. There was no sign of Mr. Clean in the kitchen, there was just Anthony at the stove making breakfast. "No, no, no, of course not! I just dropped a glass, had to clean it up."

"Oh well you did a good job with cleaning it up, I can't even tell that there was a mess." Billy remarked. Anthony just smiled nervously and looked back to the pan he had at the stove. After a few seconds of silence, Anthony spoke up saying "I'm making eggs if you want some, I know you've got to get back to work as soon as possible."

"Well I can't go to work with this cut on my arm, my OxyClean shirt is short sleeved… Maybe you can sub in for me for awhile until I get better?"

"Yeah, of course I will." Anthony said, maybe a little too excitedly, Billy gave him a weird look. Anthony couldn't help it though he had always wanted to be the spokes person for OxyClean and this was his chance to make his mark. Billy wanted to go to work, but he knew he would just be sent away because of the horrid cut on his arm. Billy thought back to what Mr. Clean said about Anthony, _he doesn't want good for you. He only wants to take your fuckin spot god damn it. _He looked over to Anthony at the stove, _he seems so eager to fill in for me, would he really try to take my spot? _

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